hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
