It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
