I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
