so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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