she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I need moral support for this bender
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
