Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
