My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
