there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
