I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
