you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Randomize
