69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Still dying that you shit outside
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
