Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
This toilet bowl is my home.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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