So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
