Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
