Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Come on in and take your pants off
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