Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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