If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
