we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize