I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
