my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
