O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
