he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
