I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
