Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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