next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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