Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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