no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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