You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
