I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
