just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
