I wanna passion pit in your ass
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
