my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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