You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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