We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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