Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
