Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
