the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
