Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
