somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
