She just used a chaser for red wine.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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