Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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