Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
