Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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