my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I can't turn off my feet"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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