I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
These tits shall not be calmed
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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