we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
