I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I am available for nakedness
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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