Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
