Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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