She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
