sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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